In nearly six years of writing this blog, I don’t think I’ve had a single guest post. But this morning I came across a timely message from Perry Marshall, and thought it would be well worth sharing with you…
There’s no better day than Father’s day to publicly acknowledge:
Sometimes dads get the short end of the stick.
I remember when I was about 11 years old I bought a hilarious issue of MAD magazine. You know, MAD – the satire mag with the picture of Alfred E. Newman on the cover.
One particular article was mocking the media, and had this cartoon of the typical dad as he’s usually portrayed on TV:
A bumbling idiot guy is stooped down in the kitchen, peering into the oven with his hand on the temperature knob of the stove. And he’s saying, “Jeepers honey, I can’t seem to find channel 4 on the Teee-Veee.”
Yep…. the comedians give you a more accurate picture than the news does, most of the time.
Consistently, dads are portrayed on TV as stupid. They’re dumber than mom, dumber than their mistress, dumber than the mouthy teenage kids, dumber than the plumber.
My kids have “Berenstain Bears” books that we read at bedtime. In these books, Papa Bear usually says stupid things and Mama Bear usually corrects him.
Portraying husbands and dads as helpless fools is so common, most of us don’t even notice it anymore.
Or how about that old feminist slogan, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”?
What a thoroughly slanderous thing to say. I fail to see the humor.
Our culture freely and gleefully tears down men. It forges their greatest strengths and highest aspirations into weapons that are used against them.
And my job today, Father’s day in the United States, is to set the record straight.
Men are not fools nor are they pigs or idiots.
Millions of men labor long hours for their wives and families and make great sacrifices for their loved ones. They set aside their personal agendas every day at 6 or 7am and drive to work and take great pride in caring for their families. They come home after dark and do it all over again the next day.
Many a man is too busy providing for his family and attending to his responsibilities, to try to argue with some bitter magazine columnist or college professor who labels him as ‘unnecessary.’
The fact that he IS necessary, and that people DO depend on him in a very real way, is actually the source of his greatest pride. It’s inseparable from his identity: At his core, he understands himself as the #1 defender and provider of those whom he loves.
So why am I saying all this to you today?
Not to put down people who put down men; not to nurse a grudge; but rather to say that on Father’s day we need to take a minute and untangle some of the lies and hurtful things that are said about men.
Because 97% of the time, they’re not true.
These lies must be untangled so that the truth can be spoken and received:
If you are a man, a husband, a father, a provider, YOU are worthy of honor and today is the day the world honors you. Today I honor you for what you do, even though much of the time it may feel like a thankless job.
THANK YOU for doing what you do.
And also, whether you are a man or a woman, a grandpa or a teenager, there is probably some *other* man in your life that deserves an embrace or an email or a phone call or a text message – some small token of thanks and honor for being who he is and doing what he does.
It’s a day for all of us to honor each other for the ways that we serve.
Now if you are a man and an entrepreneur then you sometimes have TWO thankless jobs not one. Jobs which are often directly at odds with each other.
And… if you’re a *struggling* entrepreneur then you have a triple whammy: The challenges of the two jobs and the tension between the two… combined with injury to your pride because you have not been able to provide as well as you dearly dream of providing.
Not many people understand how deeply that moves you sometimes. It’s a private hurt, for the most part.
Please remember, it is a hurt that comes from the noblest of intentions and the highest of aspirations.
Sometimes men and entrepreneurs alike are judged by other people as just being selfish.
Sometimes our best efforts to give are misconstrued as attempts to take.
All men struggle with this. You and me both. You’re not alone.
Let me tell you a little story…
I’ve got this little group of friends at my church that sometimes gets together for the sole purpose of praying and… just listening.
Listening to what the Still Small Voice may have to say.
Waiting until something is heard, until Wisdom presents herself.
Sometimes those meetings are pretty quiet. Sometimes there are long stretches of silence. It’s a strange and special thing.
On one particular day I was seeking wisdom about this very question – what to do with this feeling that, sometimes, my own best efforts to give have been misconstrued by others as attempts to take.
I wait and listen for awhile and after some time goes by, the answer comes back: “People do that to Me all the time. They interpret My best efforts to give as attempts to take. This is an experience you and I both share, together.”
Wow. A Father and a son having empathy for each other. Sharing that mutual experience and bonding together, within that experience. How human that is, yet… how supernatural.
So yes, today I acknowledge with you that shared experience. I celebrate you and we all celebrate Father’s Day and give HONOR to dads. Dads who, even in all our imperfections, strive and sacrifice to give the very best to those we love.
Seize the Day.
– Perry Marshall
As always, you are welcome to leave your comments below.
Have a great day!
Eric
Spoken like the good father you are.
Thanks Eric. This has been needed to be said a long time. The tearing down of people who work and sacrifice is a hallmark of socialist divide and conquer mentality, so opposed to individual initiative.
Happy Father’s Day, Eric!
Nice post pointed towards guys, I have my own opinions but I am keeping them to myself 😉
Enjoy your special day!
Linda
I just caught your email before going into the next room where everyone is with my parents in celebration of Father’s Day. In my opinion, my Dad is the best dad in the world. And that is why I turn off and don’t watch these sitcoms that portray fathers as bumbling idiots. Horrible disrespectful teenagers are also the norm in sitcoms. Thanks to you and Perry Marshall for speaking about this.
AND Happy Father’s Day!
I just want to say thanks Perry for the acknowledgment.It, true that real father,s some time,s get a bad rap,but they don,t have let someone else,s opinion of them become their reality,fathers keep doing what you do.
HAPPY FATHER,S DAY
Unfortunately I don’t have any children unless it is the Man from Nissan, but your article tells the truth. Modern American society demeans the modern man with frivolous arguments that are just not true that of late have become fashionable. Among the Inuit of the far north a man and woman need each other to survive by dividing their duties between each other. It is taboo for one to do the work of the other, and there are very few complaints heard about this arrangement from either side. It is a matter of life or death!
Hi there Eric.
Happy Fathers Day to all out there. There are so many truths in the article. One that really struck a chord was the feeling of not being able to provide for your family.
I completely know this one as when I was made redundant almost 3 years ago and struggled online full time for over a year I indeed felt this desperation of not being a complete man. I am glad to report that this feeling does subside and now I am proud to be an entrpreneur especially thankful for the life it gives me to be able to be a father who is ever present at school things and bed time and breakfast time etc etc..
I have enjoyed a wonderful Fathers Day today thanks to my wonderful wife and family who do not buy into the poor media representation of the modern man.
Raise a glass to Fathers everywhere – I applaud you one and all
Hope you are OK Eric – know that things have been a it tough. I know from following you for some time that your family hold you in high regard too.
Have a great day
Jonathan
Hi Eric,
I am in total agreement with you on this. I am going to share this with a lot of my friends and family. Happy Father’s Day to you and thanks so much for this fine report.
Thank you, Eric. I couldn’t agree more with everything both you and Perry Marshall have said. Hope you are feeling better so that you can enjoy this special day with your family 😀
The Scripture says,
“it’s more honorable to give than to receive”.In my entire life,i know only a small number of men(infact,i can count them) who would rather receive than give out.None of this example is in my group of friends.Many of us know how to give to our loved ones and we do that very well.Men are gorgeous! Many are caring.Many of us toil day and nigt because we want to be able to care for our loved ones.
The times when we fail to meet up with our responsibilities,it may not be necessarily be because we don’t care;it may well be so because of that human part of us,which is not infallible.
Thanks Perry and thank you Eric for sharing this with us.It’s nice one.
Some fathers are proud when they have a son that is an entrepreneur, some father wished they had a son who builds, and yet some fathers curse a son who is an entrepreneur and loves to build…so I have only one father..my father who art in heaven ..
Eric,
Although I agree very strongly with what was said I suppose I should, like Linda, keep my opinions to myself or I may be seen as a male chauvanist, which I may well be in todays society’s definition.
My children are grown and gone from home but I worked long hours building a business to pass on to them only to find out they were not interested.
Now, it’s just me and my wife. Our life now is about serving The Lord mostly through serving others but I still take care of her. I open doors for her, pull out the chair at the table, etc. It just seems like the right thing to do and I am sure there are many other men out there who do as much or more and get very little, if any credit.
Sorry brother. I said I would keep my opinions to myself.
Happy Father’s Day Sir,
Dr.Clyde
Happy Father’s Day Eric.
We can thank the “entertainment” industry for much of the dumbing down of fathers. Good post which I hope is read by millions.
GREAT POST!!!
Thanks for sharing Eric and a Happy Father’s Day to you too.
Hope that you are feeling better with each passing day.
Yes today or last nite My daughter asked about why I took 300 dollars out of her account and mine. I just wanted to make sure that she has enough for her schooling in college. I have always been putting money into her account nobody else. although I am married. My
spouse had taken money when she needed it but never returned it. I also asked my daughter if she wanted to go to a special program to see if she could become a star in singing. It cost all her savings to go I said to her that “1” would have to have higher priority and I couldn’t afford to do both. she counterede the special program! . But my wife and I also said that her college was more important for her liveleyhood. we went to the program. it used up all her money for college. At least her two years and some extra . But as a father always wants the best for her child. I paid for her first year of college out of Social security money I get from being retired and over 65. She has listened to all of her mother’s down grading me like your letter has been saying and she has know respect for me or for what I say. now this happening. wow is me. I am just at my bitter end. Yes today is father’s day and I don’t know what is happening. My daughter said to me ” I don’t have anything to talk to you about” and stormed out of the room. I will continue to pay for her schooling even though she is angree with me. I am close to 72 years old & in the process of trying to start a new business to bring in more money for her and any other things that she or my wife and my other daughter who is married & a mother. I am very secure with who I am as a responsable person but I just don’t get any respect, love, comfort or enjoyment in my old age.
The media does have a tendency to belittle men. Show’s like “Everyone loves Raymond” & “King of Queens” are perfect examples.
Eric,
Thanks for reminding me of such truths. I get wrapped up in the daily media messages that I often forget to question them. Great wisdom!
Romy Macias
Very interesting article, thank you Eric for sharing it
Very nice Eric, you have a very happy fathers day as well.
Thank you Eric. I posted a link on my FB page. Kudos to you for being generous enough to share it. And to you and Perry and all the other great Dads – BIG HUG from Maryland!
Happy Father’s Day, Eric!
You are a great father, husband, marketer and friend.
And this is the best day to thank you for what you do with your life, for the help you provide, for the knowledge you share, for the values you have.
Have a great day
Michaela
I hope you are having a nice Father’s Day Eric, and all the other fathers on here who DESERVE it. Although I have known some very good and honorable fathers in my adulthood, my personal experiences with my own father and the father of my children leaves a great deal to be desired! My father was an abuser and my husband was a child molester. They both left their families after a number of years…thank goodness. As my mother before me, I’ve been both father and mother to my children for many years, and that’s why they wish ME a happy father’s day. It’s always the best idea to have both a mother and a father in a family, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. In my family’s particular case, it was better NOT to have their father around, obviously. I don’t feel that all men are degenerate abusers, but I’ve been single for 19 years and intend to stay that way because I never want to take a chance on a man again.
Happy Father’s Day to all the good dads!
So the moral is … We work like dogs for our family so that one day a year we are NOT pigs and idiots. Cool! Sign me up.
:^)
how hawar you good wow becaus tahnks for message ok
Good stuff. I know I am not the perfect dad, or husband. But I do my best to provide for them, shepherd my children in the ways of Jesus, and be the leader my whole family needs me to be. At the end of the day and the end of my life it doesn’t matter how the media portrays me, what matters is how my wife, kids, and God feel about how I handled my responsibilities. Hopefully, I get a passing grade in their book, that is all that matters.
By the way, my dad is one of the wisest men I have ever met. Happy Fathers Day to my dad!
Hi Eric, much honor to you on father’s day.
Too bad about all the flack men get when they
do deserve honor. Enjoy your day.
Thanks Eric.As the oldest male member on both sides of my family I have just about seen it all.I have been an entrepreneur all my life, working for the man and working for my own self.Today at 81 I still am trying to do the thing I love do – work at a projecr that I control and perfect the product I concieve.
The above artical has said what most honest people know and I have felt the effect of both sides of the story.Today I can still say my spirit is still strong and my love of building has not deminished. I love to be acknowledged but if no body happens to care or approve then I’m OK with that. If I’ve don good I’m happy and if the results are not to my liking then I will do better next time.
Happy Father’s Day, Eric. I’ve learned a lot from you and have some good work to prove.
Very nice article, it’s tough trying to make sure you are doing the right thing for your family in many ways.
Happy Fathers Day Eric,
Your Tips are truly a trustworthy gift of caring. I now routinely cancel the flood of affiliates asking me to buy a piece of the puzzle. I only have 4 or 5 constant people I subscribe to and you are one.
So, this is a Father’s Day gift to you. Enjoy:
http://www.6minutestosuccess.com/launch/cyber?Conact0Email=~Contact.Email~
Strangely enough one of my students brought this up a few weeks ago. Her assignment was to compare and contrast characters/role in six different TV shows. One of her comments was that men, not women anymore, are portrayed as the weak one in the family.
It so happens that Jo Dunning gave a beautiful explanation of a father’s and mother’s role, and how both males and females can play both roles very well because each person has both traits in him/her. Here’s the link if you are interested in listening to her short message:
http://www.jodunning.com/Public/Home/index.cfm
Happy Father’s Day.
So true..men have always gotten the raw end…but I thank my Father God for giving me a wonderful dad & husband they were and are smart men…My dad was not only a mentor to me, but he was my best friend until I married my hubby, then he slipped into second place..but he will always be a tower of strengh to me even though he has pass, what he taught me over the years I have used many times..Too Fathers Follow the voice of the Spirit, stand firm and always remember to pray for yourself first, then the family…Blessing to all of you!
Happy Father’s Day to all of the Dads out there!
If you really want something to chew on read:
http://wantsun.blogspot.com/2011/06/for-all-broken-families-and-forgotten.html
Yes Eric. You said it. I cannot explain any better.
I am a woman that agrees wholeheartedly! I am definitely not against women having rights, but I think the feminist movement has done a lot to tear down the importance of a man’s role in the family. Time & time again it is shown in cultural studies the detrimental effect of not having a father present in a family.
This is my first father’s day without my father, and I can tell you that he was not a pig or an idiot, and I am eternally grateful for the 35 years I had him as my dad. He gave me a wonderful Christian heritage that I will always cherish. I can’t wait to see him in heaven some day. My husband is a wonderful father to my children and I try to never ever belittle him to our children. He is a true spiritual leader of our home like my father was and I appreciate all the hard work he does for us and his support of me as I try build my business.
Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there!
Great article! I know it distresses my husband sometimes to see how men are always portrayed in the media as ignorant and bigoted. Neither he nor my own father are anything like that.
Happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there! We wives and daughters appreciate you.
Great post. Totally agree !
About time someone called it as it is.
The destructive social agenda coming out of hollywood and the far leftist colleges cast men as the dummies in our society, when the fact of history show that just about everything that has been built in this country that makes it great,,, has been by, yes, I’ll say it MEN. OMG !!!
But the truth doesnt hide in the shadows of TV fakery and agendized movie scripts.
Here’s to all the DAD’s out their that are still the backbone of this country and make it great.
Happy Fathers day ERIC hope you are a good dad.
Happy Father’s Day.
It is wonderful to be loved and respected (for 32 years)by my wife and our son.
You and your family are in our prayers.
Thanks Eric.
Hi, Eric!
Thanks for that.
You deliver to us very nice blog – exactly on right day! Even though I am disagree with such dad’s presentation, I could tolerate it, maybe there is necessary to have a little more sense for humor,in despite of it may be far away from humor..
I think, more important is that we all dads, fathers, husbands, all men, have strong confidence to ourselves and awareness of our worthiness for our loved ones.
Anyway, happy Father’s Day to you!
As parents, we raised our children to not buy into ‘Father’ or ‘Mother’ Day. We simply told/tell them that every day is ‘Father’ or ‘Mother’ Day. We freed our children (and ourselves).
Nice write up, happy Fathers day to all fathers out there especially to Mr Eric and the fathers out here.
Hi Eric
Happy Fathers Day to you!
Thanks for sharing this story from perry.
My first thought was about what God has done for all of us, The Greatest Father in the world, Gave us the Greatest Gift, thru His One And Only Son. So in a imperfect world, Men & Women should all strive to emulate His Son.
I do believe we all are put here to serve one another, And you do a great job Eric!
Many thanks for your service in the IM World.
Peace
I had a wonderful godly father and have a great husband who provides, is the spiritual leader and is a good father. I am truly blessed!
Thanks to Perry for writing this and Eric for sharing it. In Canada we have seen this in our commercials as well as television. I’m sure that it is the same in America.
Hmph. I need to point out that “the media” you’re complaining about is largely made up of and run by MEN. In fact, the writers of two of the shows mentioned by one commenter as prime examples of a media that depicts men as bumblers are also their stars (Ray Romano of Everybody Loves Raymond and Kevin James of The King of Queens).
It’s all good and well to complain about how men are seen in this society, but to complain about it when you’re often the ones doing it to yourselves is just silly.
And, oh yeah… since comedic bumblers aren’t the only depictions of men on TV by anything like a long shot, this argument really is simply a whine, and unworthy of the usual quality of these posts.
Dear Eric
Happy Fathers day!! I want to say my father was the man you speak of. He would get up early in the morning, go to work to provide for his family, and come back exhausted at night. He was always there for the family. What you also mention of how the media and magazines etc., portray some men to be, it seems is being done on purpose to distort the role of what a healthy man should be and look like in today’s society. They encourage the bad image of men and fathers and scold the healthy, responsible, caring image of the male/father. By damaging the role of the male, the family unit becomes dysfunctional and corrupt So thank you for sharing your insights and for reminding all of us what a healthy, caring, responsible, loving family man/father is like. All the best to you and your family.
http://www.beyourbrilliantbest.com
Thanks for sharing the story from Perry Marshall, Eric. Thanks also for providing great information on IM.
I miss my Dad. He was a great Dad and my hero. He served in the Navy in WWII and went into the ministry. He and Mom were church planters for the Church of The Nazarene. They roughed it for quite a long time, but God Blessed them and they taught me the way of the cross.
I agree with you and am so glad you have taken a stand. Men have been given a bad rap for a long time. I know that most of it came from most of the world living in a patriarchal society, but we are not there so much any more. I thank God for men like you. Don’t quit!!!